Saturday, September 14, 2013

The Tongue of Angels

I feel slightly compelled to write on this subject. As a mom, as a woman, as a wife. There are a lot of responsibilities that go a long with all of those callings. Tonight as I read an exceptional talk written by Jeffrey R. Holland, I just sad and cried. I am throwing all pride aside, feeling embarrassed as I type. I cried because I am so far from perfect at what I am trying to do. First and foremost, my responsibility as well as priority is to be a lover, a comforter and a "happy place" for my children and husband. I feel that I do very well at my "job" quite often. But, too many times I fail. Too many times I find myself feeling far too incompetent to do this job well. I want to be perfect. Who doesn't? But, I really just want to be perfect for the ones I love.

This talk I read focused on the words we use and how we use them. Have you ever found yourself speaking impatiently to your little ones, or your husband? Or how about raising your voice? I don't know if we fully understand the power of our words. The power of the way we speak to these precious children. We can forever stunt the growth and confidence of an individual by the way we talk to them. We can do just the opposite. And let's hope we are.

I want to share some of my favorite lines from this talk because they need to be shared. I feel they especially need to be shared with us women and more specifically mothers. No matter our religion, if we even have one, these thoughts can help and heal our homes. And help us to have a greater understanding of the good we can do in the lives around us, as well as the damage we can cause.

"A woman’s words can be more piercing than any dagger ever forged, and they can drive the people they love to retreat beyond a barrier more distant than anyone in the beginning of that exchange could ever have imagined. There is no place in that magnificent spirit of yours for acerbic or abrasive expression of any kind, including gossip or backbiting or catty remarks.

We must be so careful in speaking to a child. What we say or don’t say, how we say it and when is so very, very important in shaping a child’s view of himself or herself. Be constructive in your comments to a child—always. Never tell them, even in whimsy, that they are fat or dumb or lazy or homely. You would never do that maliciously, but they remember and may struggle for years trying to forget—and to forgive. And try not to compare your children, even if you think you are skillful at it. You may say most positively that “Susan is pretty and Sandra is bright,” but all Susan will remember is that she isn’t bright and Sandra that she isn’t pretty. Praise each child individually for what that child is, and help him or her escape our culture’s obsession with comparing, competing, and never feeling we are “enough.”

In all of this, I suppose it goes without saying that negative speaking so often flows from negative thinking, including negative thinking about ourselves. We see our own faults, we speak—or at least think—critically of ourselves, and before long that is how we see everyone and everything. No sunshine, no roses, no promise of hope or happiness. Before long we and everybody around us are miserable.

Speak hopefully. Speak encouragingly, including about yourself. 

So, in this long eternal quest to be more like our Savior, may we try to be “perfect” men and women in at least this one way now—by offending not in word, or more positively put, by speaking with a new tongue, the tongue of angels. Our words, like our deeds, should be filled with faith and hope and charity, the three great Christian imperatives so desperately needed in the world today. With such words, spoken under the influence of the Spirit, tears can be dried, hearts can be healed, lives can be elevated, hope can return, confidence can prevail."

Jeffrey R. Holland April 2007

To read the full article, click here.

If these words help even just one other person besides myself, than I think this blog post is worth it! :)

How I adore these two perfect babies of mine. Something about smiling makes them want to close their eyes!?! Here is to using only kind words and speaking with the tongue of angels! Wish me luck.


  1. Love this!! Thanks for the reminder =)

    1. I am so glad it was poignant for you too! I think it is for all of us! Miss you! Hope you and your beautiful family are well!

  2. Definitely worth the post! I needed this ;)
    Sometimes I feel so guilty for raising my voice or being hard on my girls! I need to work in my tone and patience!!


    1. Amanda! So glad I am not the only one that needed it! I am sure it is something that most mothers need a reminder of. But, no doubt you are the best mom ever! Your girls are so lucky! :)