Monday, December 21, 2009

The Things You Learn in a Southern Salon

About a week ago I got my hair done. Well, needless to say (at least for those of you who really know me) it was three hours of anxiety.. pure anxiety! Now, I love black women.. they are funny, outgoing and so entertaining. But, I was slightly concerned that this one in particular, Kenya, wouldn't know what to do with this California girl's, long blonde hair. Call me crazy, I was just a little bit nervous. I called my mom, and together we decided that black girls HAVE to be amazing at doing hair.. I mean look at the dos they come up with!

Throughout the course of my stay at the salon, I learned a few things:

1. Kenya designs her own, real hair wigs. If she finds a style she likes in a mag, then she will make it herself. She "specializes" in black hair and is in love with the colors and styles.. But she doesn't usually dye the hair.. she just finds hair and buys it in the right color. By the time I learned this, she was half-way through foiling my hair.. omg.

2. I also learned that all four of her kids have their own TVs and video games. When Kenya says, "Mama Busy..." they know not to bother mama. "They good kids cause they entertain themselves and don't bother their mama."

3. Her boyfriend was stung by a jelly fish in Florida, and right there on that busy white sand beach, in front of everyone she popped a squat and let the pee go right on his sting.

4. Black women tend to have a little more "Fluff" than the average woman. She as well as most the girls in her family pack on the winter pounds. Well, this year she is taking B-12 vitamins and liquid B-12. She is actually losing weight this winter. So, for those of you who are trying to lose weight,  b-12 speeds up your metabolism and really works!! (Her niece who is 16 weighed over 200 lbs.. she's lost 30 lbs in the last 2 months.. just from b-12.)

...A note on the hair-do
1. I asked for 2 inches to be cut off and she cut 5.5.
2. I asked for very natural, blended highlights and I got bright white/yellow chunks with a half an inch root already built into the do.
3. I asked for a nice straight trim and I found two big pieces that were jagged and really a lot longer than the rest of my hair.
4. All this and it wasn't even a cheap job.

Maybe this is what I get for living in the South!



    we learned these lessons in harlem!

  2. okay.. for you, Noelle, I will post a pic very soon!! xoxo

  3. oh mercy... lex i should have warned you. in the south, you gotta be careful with where you go.. lets just say we have different hair! call me if you have questions. i am sure you are still beautiful.

  4. bahahahaha!!! u crack me up! wen we get home i think we need to have blogging/army wives parties!! miss u!

  5. Hi Alexis! Remember me? I found your blog through Dana's. What a fun life you have! You and your husband are adorable and I'm so happy to see that you are so happy.

    This hair fiasco is so funny. I know what you mean about the black women- when we were living in the Caribbean I had a good friend from the branch do my hair for David's company Christmas party. I wanted it very simple-lose curls and no style, just left down. Well she tried to make it look as black as possible with tight curls and then sprayed this stuff so I'd have a nice "sheen." Pretty funny.

  6. You are hilarious! I'm sure you still look beautiful! I can't wait to see you!

  7. Ohhhh no Lex! Remember when I had fake hair extensions and braids? Remember how it took 9 hours of watching every judge show possible on TV to get them done? Oh please please post a picture...wait you went to Utah and probably got it fixed already! Love you!

  8. i love this!! i can just picture you sitting in the salon, taking it in. classic!!